THE MAN THAT COULDN'T DIE

      ¨Look! Here it is! The tusa I've been trying to catch for so long...¨ my handyman, Pepe said, with his face mask hanging from one ear and a genuine grin on his dirty face and a vacant mouth

        ¨What are you going to do with it?¨I asked, observing the comical picture of this little man holding a miserable creature by the tail.

         Pepe, which is a diminutive for Jose in Latin America, stood about five foot tall. He was by no means handsome, but his ugliness was covered with dirt, as though it didn't really matter. He wore equally soiled,mended garments and presented a rumpled existence, from his battered, cowboy hat,  to the worn sandals, that covered his ageless feet. The creature he was holding, is a cousin to the groundhog, with powerful claws that can bring down a tree or an adobe wall. That was the reason that Pepe tracked down the tusa, to protect my humble abode.

          ¨I'm going to eat him. It's very good meat. Something like a rabbit, but more delicious.¨

          ¨I don't think I'd like to taste a tusa, thank you:¨I volunteered, turning my head away.

           ¨It's funny how the old boy kept avoiding my traps. It's like he didn't want to die...Something like that happened to me one time, on the coast. I wanted to die, but I couldn't,¨he confessed, altering his smile to a reflective grimace.

         ¨Sounds interesting Pepe. Why don't you come in and tell me about it. I have some drinks on the patio table. You can leave the tusa here.

         ¨Oh no Don Francisco! The dogs will eat it! I have to take it inside,¨he insisted.

         I imagined there wasn't too much difference between man and beast in this case, so I shook my head and replied:

         ¨OK, you can leave it inside the door and wash your hands in the pila.¨

         He knew where the wash basin was because he had built it, along with the rest of the house.

         We seated ourselves on either side of the table, with several octavos on top. They were filled with eighty percent alcohol. There were also lemons and glasses. I had arranged it before, because I was going to do an article for the online magazine I was writing for. This story sounded more interesting however and it proved to be just that.

        ¨So what's this story about trying to kill yourself Pepe? Why would you want to do such a thing?¨

         ¨Because of love...or really treason!¨he said, snapping off  the metal top and pouring half the octavo in his glass, He squeezed some lemons and then said..¨Salud¨

         ¨Salud ¨I countered and we touched glasses. ¨Sounds like a girl walked out on you. Who was she?¨

         ¨My wife,¨ he confessed, before taking a long swallow and exclaiming,¨Ah! that tastes good....We were on the coast because it was the time of the sugarcane harvest. Before everyone worked there for a few months, so it was nothing new. I had been married for a short time, but we already lost one child. I don't know how it happened, but you know how it is on the coast...the heat, mosquitoes...I don't know.Many people get sick and die.¨

          He said this with a sort of philosophical equilibrium, inherited by the people whom inhabited this place. The survivors of the Maya civilization.

           ¨I'm sorry to hear about that Pepe,¨I said, with sincerity.

           ¨Well, maybe that was the reason my wife became a tramp. She ended up laying with anyone in the camp. I beat her, but she didn't stop, to the point that I wanted to kill myself!¨ he declared, draining the glass and pouring in the rest of the octavo.¨What I did was to go to the field where they sprayed the insecticides. I just lay down there and let the plane fly over me. I turned completely yellow and I was certain I was going to die.¨

           ¨I can imagine Pepe. That sounds pretty desperate, but I guess you weren't successful. What happened?¨

           ¨I went back to the camp and collapsed in my tent. The woman wasn't there of course, but some friends stopped  by and took care of me. They saw what had happened and quickly bathed me and gave me some medicinal herbs to drink, but that wasn't all. They said I had to sweat it out. So, do you know what they did?¨

         ¨I have no idea,¨

         ¨Well, there was a coral with four posts and they told me I had  to run around and kick each post three times. I don't know how I did it but I did until I finally collapsed. They took me back to my tent and this caused a tremendous fever that night. In the morning, I was all right.¨

         ¨Amazing Pepe and what happened to your wife?¨

         ¨I don't know. I never saw her again after that, but some people still remember what happened and they call me...the man who couldn't die!¨he said, raising his glass and nodding his head in tribute to his former misfortune.

         ¨That's an interesting story. ¨I conceded, while I fixed up my own drink and as an afterthought asked him: ¨Do you think you'll survive this new pandemic Pepe?¨

         ¨Definitely!¨he exclaimed, and I believed him